Archive for the ‘Haiti’ Category
* Update!
Posted on July 31st, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti.
Note: written in haste- hence, typos grammatical errors etc-. Forgive me.
I realize it’s been a while. I’m no longer in Haiti, but have continued to keep track of our patients there & wanted to update you on a few. Above is a story i never told you about til now. When i was working at Project Medishare in early April the work shifted from taking care of earthquake related injuries to being the one and only hospital equipped to care for dire emergencies like the above case. If the hospital was not there many would have died if life had gone on as “normal.”
The above child, let’s call him “Joe”- Joe and his sibling were outside (homeless due to quake) in one of Port au Prince’s many neighborhoods when an electric generator- which provided electricity to his neighborhood (installed by a private company)- suddenly burst into flames, falling from the sky- tragically landing on two small children: Joe and his sibling. Needless to say they suffered the worst kind of burns. When they were brought to Project Medishare they were put in the ICU. That day i was given the new duty of training 4 new psychs at the hospital. Many were asking very valid questions like- ‘how do you talk to people if you yourself have not experienced such tragedy’ (ie: natural disaster, death, losing a limb)? I explained that most of us have not been through this & that it doesn’t really help to ”talk at” folks like we do at home- we are simply there for people as human beings (why i often argue that you do not need to be a psych but def do need to be a compassionate person).
I had been there long enough to witness how the Hatians console eachother- in some ways it was more sophisticated in how we handle death- they mourn and grieve, and don’t try to talk one another into being anything but devastated. Enter: Joe, his mom (pictured) “Rose”, and his sibling who very sadly passed on pretty much right away- rest in peace.
Rose and her extended family received the bad news and were under a large green mango tree in mourning- this involved loud crying, reaching up to the sky and asking God the same question many many times ”why”, and pretty much losing it- as any of us would. One of the new psychs asked me- ”shoudn’t we sedate her.” No. We should let her mourn.
We sat under that mango tree for hours- sitting behind Rose, holding her, holding her hands, letting her hug us collapsing into tears. As we did a doctor came out and let us know- the next child- Joe- would probably pass on within 24 hours and to get her ready for it. Rose already sensed it.
We moved into the children’s tent where her child was, because she also needed to make big decisions- take the body on her own- for a funeral she cannot afford- or let us cremate the body. I am happy that Rose had family there to support her. She had already lost 2 other children in the quake (how anyone can believe in karma after knowing such stories is beyond me), so how she could handle any of this was truly miraculous.
I found a cot for in the children’s tent and laid Rose down, putting ice bags on her head- she began wailing asking God questions again, which built up to screaming. I sat behind her like a mom would do her to her child (mind you she is 6 foot tall- and i am 5′5″) and did what i had seen Hatians doing to eachother in such a situation. Eventually she was dead quiet- eyes wide opened, as if she herself had just died. I do not doubt that parts of her had- time after time.
One of the volunteers who was American but had done Peace Corps in Haiti & is married to a Hatian man came over- i told her I was worried that we had taken over the children’s tent by bringing in an adult who could yell louder than any of the kids there. All the families crowded around their sick youngsters- sometimes one whole family in one cot- were looking at us- some of their kids just beyond consciousness. I thought, in America parents would be pissed that this *adult* was having a melt down in the *kids* tent keeping their sick children awake. The volunteer, probably chuckling to herself at my naivate, told me- “no- they are used to this- and the way she mourns. What they are staring as it is how you are dealing with her. You are actually making a little statement right now & they are judging whether or not they can trust you- and these doctors- based on how you are helping (or not helping) her.”
_____
After a few hours, extended family made decisions about the child’s final arrangements, and they decided to leave for a few hours and change- they had already been there for about 24 hours, yet their clothes were still pressed and they were groomed meticulously. Grace and poise among devastation.
I thought that little Joe was definitely on his way out, and that how were they going to ever have the option for funerals… So i dipped into a special reserve of $ that friends had given me before i went to Haiti- for situations just like this- found $80, crumpled them up into a tight wad, and forced it into Rose’s hand. I did not realize that this small gesture would make them my die hard friends for life. Actually it probably wasn’t the $, it was probably that i happen to be there during one of the hardest times of her life.
_____
The good news is Joe was fighting for his life- fighting hard and he was making a comeback. There would be no way that he could fully recover in Haiti so a hospital that specialized in burns- in Boston- said that they would take him, and his mother (required for a relative to be with them). One of my friends, Lisa Anderson, worked night and day to get this med-evac to happen. She fought against bureacracy, workers who had the connections to government officials and visas not showing up to work for days on end w/ no excuse, and impatient nurses and volunteers who mistook other people’s negligence for Lisa dragging her feet. I observed as Lisa- a person normally cool as a cucumber- broke down into tears fightng to make this happen.
When the day came that the German EMT team was whisking away Joe and Rose to the United States there was another small but bizarre twist in the plot: Another volunteer appeared to be trying to take credit for the med evac (crazy, I know..). She stuck a cam corder in Rose’s face- getting her jovial reaction, her praising god for what was happening, not leaving Rose’s side like all her “hard work” had finally paid off. Because this volunteer was in everyone’s face, and Lisa is an understated, not looking for the spotlight sort of person- people started assuming that this was Lisa & that she was the person who put it all together! I was miffed, but Lisa did not care- she was just so thrilled that this med evac was finally bloody happening and that this child had a good chance of living because of it.
I think Rose may have sensed this. She came over and rubbed Lisa’s face with her hands- kissed her- thanked her, hugged her. One of the hospital admins, who knew how hard Lisa had worked for this yelled “Lisa, you go with them to the airport” clearly gesturing at the real Lisa Anderson. Everyone gathered round as the Germans lifted Joe into the ambulance- Everyone was relieved but no one more than Lisa & Joe’s family.
Lisa sent me the above photo from Boston a few weeks back- Joe is doing incredibly well. And Rose as always looks happy & appreciative for the little victories amist a life full of insurmountable hardship.
* images of our camp
Posted on April 14th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti.
Above: the big tent is a communcal sleeping area- the 3 other big tents not shown are the actual hospital. The smaller tents house staff overflow, isolation for patients with highly infectious illnesses, and also the morgue. My first rotation with project medishare I stayed under the big top tent: ”the city” as many of us called it- however when i went back again, it had gotten seriously cramped in there. Much more cramped than this pic i took back in January:
the next 2 rotations i opted for smaller tents in the “burbs” provided by Shelter Box- the first was their standard round thing- but the next time i opted for a more palacial “African style” tent that had more ventilation & gave an air of not Africa, but Arabia.. muy romantico.
Shelter Box (SB) has given away tens of thousands of tents all over Haiti- they go in after disasters around the globe & provide very durable tents to those left homeless- thsi is a critical need. Even at the hospital one of the biggest requests from patients is for a tarp or a tent- people have absolutely no where to go to & no place to call home. It is truly beyond comprehension.
I hate to admit, unlike most people i somehow found myself to have the Africa tent all to myself for 2 decadent nights after my Physical Therapist roomates left… I had learned at the hospital that among the death there is also life- so when i see it i need to embrace it. Makes sense that the men, grapes, foot rubs, and wine then appeared to provide stress relief when i had the tent to myself (kidding of course..). You really have to take it while you can otherwise you will go crazy…
* why is the press attacking Sean Penn & Wyclef Jean when they should be attacking the Red Cross?
Posted on March 8th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti.
First it was Wyclef Jean & now they are attacking Sean Penn- why does the media love to attack celebrities who do charity work? Is it simply that no good deed go unpunished? I know, I know, some are simply opportunists- i get that, ie: what’s her face- the blond- who went to Rwanda to soul search after she gained 5 lbs, etc-. However Sean Penn & Wyclef have been putting their money where there mouth is for years- not just when it’s fashionable.
While in PAP i met an evangelical minister from Texas- he started complaining to me: “Why do the media attack Wyclef? I saw him with my own eyes, picking up dead bodies!!” Hey, great point mister. He went on to say that he has not seen the Red Cross once. And that it was starting to piss him off. A conservative evangelical minister from Texas.
Afterwards a group of about 10 of us gathered round him- not b/c of his movies, but becasue of his charity work & activism. He looked tired and worn- it was clear that he had been working round the clock- for the past MONTH. Sean gently and humbly told us of the work he and his group J/P HRO had been doing and how he just could not bring himself to leave after what he had seen- every single one of us knew exactly what he meant. Like me, the man is driven by his heart right now- not dollar signs or fame. So why must the press attack him? Let’s even pretend for a moment that he was doing it for fame (which i do not believe he is) then in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? Should we continue to wait around for the Red Cross to finally DO something rather than let him? I would not hold my breath.
THere is no shortage of NGOs in Port au Prince right now- the streets are clogged with SUVs inching along- all with various NGO banners accross them. Oxfam, Doctors WIthout Borders, Catholic Charities, etc- they are all there… but one big group was surprisingly absent, from my view at least. I gave them the benefit of the doubt but once again, on my second trip they were nowhere to be found.. and i was not the only one to feel that way. Why does the media not attack Red Cross who gained the most money rather than the humanitarians who also happen to be celebrities? A few days ago, Red Cross distributed 5000 tarps in Port au Prince- their “biggest distribution” yet. Uh, that is sad sad sad. Wyclef is picking up bodies with his bare hands & Sean Penn has built refugee camps- but the Red Cross: 5000 tarps. Really?
I finally saw the Red Cross once- it was at a mental health meeting at the UN. I spoke about what we were doing at the hospital- afterwards the Red Cross lady stopped me to ask “what do you think the needs of Haiti are?” She went on to say that they are still assessing the situation. I wanted to say: “shouldn’t I be asking you the questions lady?” but i kept my cool & told her how horrible it was to discharge patients onto the street- how they all had no where to go- most without even a simple thing like tarp to protect them from the elements. What we need are refugee camps- YESTERDAY and housing that can withstand the fast approaching rainy season & soon thereafter hurricane season. I explained that i was not the expert. I arranged a meeting for her with my boss, the head of the UM hospital- but she cancelled last minute and once again asked me on email to answer the same question that i had already verbally answered the day before.
(I wanted to say: read the writing on the wall, lady..)
If you wonder the same about the Red Cross, here is some advice from a friend who shares my frustration:
“We need your help…..please continue to work on your own endeavors to solve this problem, however please help us lean on the Red Cross. Please call your local chapter and speak with the CEO. Leave a message daily until he/she calls you back.
http://www.redcross.org/where
Call DC HQ (don’t fall for the 800-get-info routine- they don’t know). Ask them for information regarding distribution of essential items in Haiti. Tell them that you work with locals that are homeless, tell them that you discharge patients with newly amputated limbs to a street corner filled with rubble. Tell them you want information to give to these people stating where they can collect a tent, tarp. Demand an answer regarding supply distribution and fund distribution. This should be public information.
The estimated population of Haiti is 9.7 million
http://www.google.com/publicdata?ds=wb-wdi&met=sp_pop_totl&idim=country:HTI&dl=en&hl=en&q=haiti+population
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/13/haiti-population-graphic_n_422179.html
Below article states 2.2 billion raised
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5idZiVQhHcyG1gpBjzXaAmmk4_OtAD9E8PTRO0
My elementary math equation from # of people and $ raised, appears that everyone could have a tent….actually, everyone could have had a tent by now.
Google “red cross criticism” - call a local reporter in your area that has reported on this.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&ei=wYmVS77jCJG6swPFgpWmBw&sa=X&oi=spellfullpage&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=2&ved=0CAYQvwUoAQ&&q=red+cross+criticism+haiti&spell=1
Also, Starbucks is taking customer donations and matching them. What do they do with combined donations? Turn it over to the Red Cross. Where is this money? There are other major corporations that are doing the same. Call them.”
* some pix of PAP 6 weeks on:
Posted on March 8th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti.
I rarely leave the tent hospital- maybe to go to a clinic or to the UN, but this time a friend took a few of us for a drive through the center of town “just to see it.” It was not different from what you see on TV, but to see the destruction 1st hand- after some time had passed- I could hardly imagine how anyone survived. Yet somehow life carries on. People sold fruit and rice out of bags at a “market”, and other industrious people were collecting metals from the rubble and cars that were destroyed in the quake. On the road side CDs, phones, champagne (?), radios, watches, shoes, etc- were up for sale. Rudimentary “tent cities” are everywhere- not sure how any of those can withstand even a light rain though, nevermind the rainy season. Near the UN tourist trinkets and art work are sold- Saw that as early as 2 weeks after the quake. At the recently re-opened airport necklace sellers are out in full force- giant smiles on their faces and jokes at hand.
* can the Argentine Army hold a candle to the Portuguese Bombeiros?
Posted on March 8th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti, romance.
Yes, ladies & gentlemen i hear you- you are asking: what about the mens of PAP, this round? Last time we were in awe of the dreamy Portuguese Bombeiros. But as we know they left Haiti- all that is left is a shell of their old camp which is now used as a triage center for our hospital-
So eventually we all had to accept the reality- start to lather and wash our own hair- and sigh loudly as we eat canned fruit straight from a can- no rum drizzled atop by a muscular Adonis type. the suffering!!!! Enter: the Argentine Army…
YEs, ladies- it’s true. All a girl has to do is leave San Francisco to be treated like the goddess that we all are by handsome adorable sweet men from all sorts of different countries. But how do these gorgeous Argentine soldiers stack up in comparison to the Bombeiros??
As you an see: they are cute- but the sheer number is quite low (3 vs 30) add to that they do not have the sweet berets that the Portuguese wear. THey did come bearing their own Heineken- and yes it was cold, but no one spoon fed me or gave me a stylish flame resistant suit.
In the end they were a delicious diversion who tried their best- probably not smart to even attempt to compare them to 30 beret wearing elite force Bombeiros. However I thoroughly enjoyed my time with the Argentines, and for a little while, received some extra special treatment. A memory never to be forgotten… in the midst of despair there is still life! Thank you for teaching me that.
* amidst the death, there is still life and love…
Posted on March 7th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti.
Last week there was so much death- but if Haiti has taught us North Americans anything- it is that we are fully alive- and to live while we are here. Being short handed at the camp many had to do things they never thought they would have to to accomodate death- bagging dead bodies, creating a respectful funeral, and tending to the tent morgue. We have a different relationship with death in America. Not saying that Hatians do not mourn, are not in deep grief etc- but they have had to deal with death much more than we have- or choose to. Because of that they are more enlightened and wise than us, in my opinion. In America we do anything to avoid death- cheat aging, etc-. We enable denial of a very basic and unavoidable sapect of life. Maybe instead we could simply embrace living more so that our days here are full and when it is time to go we do not regret and in fact we are tired and ready to go?
I have not had to deal with death hardly ever in my life. Sure grandparents passed on, and some of my students have died at the hands of guns… but i have never sat with someone as they were dying… until now. The other day i was completely shattered because my favorite patient ( i know- not supposed to have favorites but we all do!)- had a very bad prognosis. I sat with him as he went into near septic chock- annoyed with the doctors and nurses wondering why they could not do something more. I crossed the boundares- personalized it, and then went into denial. the doctors told me- this is it, lady! I am in Haiti to help the Hatians- not be a burden- so when i began to well up in tears i reprimanded myself: hold it together girl. I did a pretty good job of it until myself and 2 other counselors- 2 of religious faiths, sat with the patient’s family and said prayers with them. One of the counselors kindly came to console me- it was the first time i could not hold back the tears. I was embarrassed and felt the spoiled westerner- he is here for them- not me: I immediately directed him back to the dying patient’s family.
Later that night that rabbi/chaplain/funeral director/psychologist/counselor- as he called himself- came to tell me a story to enlighten me a bit on death. This was more the Hatian way- tell a story, say a prayer to understand the death- don’t try to talk someone to death- figuratively speaking- as we do in the States. He told me a long story about so many bible characters whose names are too long for me to even begin to remember them. WHat the story boiled down to was some bible character asked another: “How many days have you lived?” rather than “How old are you?” He explained that all that matters is how many days you have truly lived. A good friend of mine, Dr. Shea, was standing beside me at this point- she knows me from Iran… “Michelle you really have lived many days.” WHat she doesn’t know about me is that there are so so so many days- where I like many others- am waiting around for something to better to happen- some other time to come. The rabbi/chaplian/psych went on to say- “When you look into ___’s eyes- you can see that he has truly lived- many days. God is in his eyes.” He was right. Before this story was even told to me, i felt like i had a direct pipeline to god/divinity/grace when i looked into this patient’s eyes. I know it may sound strange, but i felt like he was trying to tell me something. He knew something that i do not know- that most of us do not know. Something that words can not explain or describe. All we can do is be present with it and not understand it.
* A piece I wrote for PBS; re: Haiti & patient privacy…
Posted on March 6th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti, press.
* this man changed my life forever.
Posted on February 23rd, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti.
warning: beat tired- hence lots of typos, non-linear thinking, etc-.
been doing alot of “social work” which i put into quotes here b/c this is hard to place or refer patients out when there is no place to go- the biggest of 3 options is the street. That has been frustrating & difficult- so i have been mixing in doing psych work/counseling. This morning as i was scrounging around for some morning coffee a nurse grabbed me- usually they just look at the masking tape on our chest that has our area of expertise written on in sharpie marker… “did you hear about our gun wound patient”? i had been sleeping when he came in so no i hadn’t.
In all the time i have worked at the tent hospital i have never entered the ICU- and surgery area which is clearly marked “do not enter”- until today. THere i met the man who changed my life- let’s just call him “Jean.” Jean is a chaufer for one of the big NGOs here. LAst nite he went all day w/out eating… he went out to get something late nite in the NGO SUV when a man tried to car jack him. Jean ignored the man and tried to keep driving- but he was shot in the upper spine. he lost control of his car b/c the result of the gunshot is that he is now paralyzed- he careened into a pedestrian, who is now also in the ICU- about 3 feet from where Jean lay. After both victims were brought there, the other victim’s family came into to visit the pedestrian- he had to have his leg amputated and he still remains unconscious. the prognosis is not known but there is a real chance he may pass on. I was told by doctors that Jean was more concerned about the man who he hit than the fact that he is now parapalegic… he was concerend about the other man having his leg amputated- i have been told over & over that “In Haiti if you have a major handicap you are 3/4 dead.” Some ever choose to forgo amputation when they know that they face death instead. they prefer it. Jean cried as the other victims family looked at him deliberating on whether to amputate or not- they chose to do it.
I had no idea if i could do anything to help Jean- this is out of my league. I did the best i could to just be there for him- hold his hand, validate his feelings and tell him over & over that the other victim’s situation is not his fault. WHat made it hard/extra painful was that Jean was full of grace and poise even though his life would never be the same. He acted less upset than i would if an airline charged me a change fee- if i could have an ounce of Jean’s patience I would be a much better woman. I held his hand, that he coudl not move, as he thanked me- even though i do not think that i really did anything for him. Jean told me that he wanted me to come see him and meet his wife sometime when he is out of the hospital. He spoke good English since he is used to driving many international NGO workers. He is 55 has salt & peper hair and a face of an angle b/c he is one.
I am not a religious woman, but i believe in speaking people’s culture when in Haiti- many here are very religious & because of their dire situation they of course look to faith for hope, and some sense of reason. I called a female AMerican Catholic CHapplian over to pray over Jean. As she put her hands on him, and asked the grace of god to intervene and to work through the doctor and people working on Jean’s case, Jean repeated her words. When she asked God to stop his suffering i almost lost it. LIke last time i was here i had to choke down tears to continue functioning. First time around, I pressed through a few days of that & as a consequence never cried since. I thought i could handle most things now- but this again brought me up against a wall of tears. As the catholic chaplains spoke i cleared my eyes of tears, held Jean’s hand and truly prayed for him.
I do not know why bad things happen to good people. there is no reason or karma in this word. Jean is one of the most graceful polite people i have met in my life- and now he is paralyzed. I learned from his family that Jean is a hard working, and has always had a pleasant kind peacful tempermant even when he was little. I wish i had a fraction of his tempermant. I wish i had some his patience. Is it b/c i grew up in such an easy world and he grew up in such a hard one where nothing is a given? One moment and your life can change so much. SOme people who are selfish/greedy are rewarded for it- others who are good do not get good in return. I do not understand. It is something i grapple with constantly- Haiti makes me hyper aware of his. I could cry all day but we all have to carry on with the job we came here to do. I can cry later- i think.
Jean has woken me up- changed my life 4ever- i will try not to be such a brat- try not to control that things go my own way- try to be more relaxed- and appreciate all the things i do have more- including my youth, family & health.
* U of Miami Physical Therapy (PT) team in action…
Posted on February 19th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti.
Unlike many in the States- if you give your average Hatian an opportunity to learn they take it, cherish it, and make the absolute most of it. I worked as a PT technician w/ a U of Miami team one rare day when were well staffed w/ PTs at the tent hospital. With our extra hands we decided to do follow up with some of the patients we had discharged to smaller clinics.. unfortunately the reality in these small clinics was that there were not docs, nurses, PTs or even cots for that matter….
A Hatian woman told me that most Hatians believe if you are sick or injured you should lay in bed & wait to heal- THat is counter to what PT is- and for many who suffered severe crush injuries, amputations, and broken bones, we knew we had to go out & educate that moving is in fact good for you- as long as it is done intelligently. At one clinic (pictured here) we had a woman go from a wheel chair to walking w/ a walker within 20 minutes with a PT from UM! She glowed as she walked- and seemed like she had just gotten her life back. It was empowering and gave me the chills to witness such a wonderful thing. It brought tears to my eyes- but like many times that week i bit them back. I worked with a school teacher that was lying on the floor in a tent the past week- i made her do some exercises that the PTs prescribed to her. She really hated it at first but with some animated enthusiasm and encourgaement (via translator) I got her up & walking with just 1 crutch- broken arm & all. Here she is calling her family to let them know the news afterwards:
When in a disaster area we all have to be extremely resourceful… not jsut with our professions but with supplies. The lead PT (a genius I might add) created a contraption with a Bally’s exercise club stretch cord, so that this sweet little 10 year old could slowly get some muscle control back -and again be able to do basic things like eat with his right arm. I was constantly struck by how much good came out of such little time and resources. I work as a psychologist: the mind- mental issues- things take a long time to change- but with PT- we saw instant results. Just a little bit of education brought so much joy. Ontop of that a few outgoing onlookers started imitating what we were doing- we began to train them in some PT basics so that after we were gone, they could step in to help. Again, the glow and joy that i saw from these poeple- to have a skill that was useful and could help- most have never had access to education- it again hit the point home that we have so much opportunity in the states that we take for granted. This was one of the most incredible days of my life. I am not expressing it too well here, but i will never ever forget this day- it warmed my heart and made me want to cry tears of joy.
* as the Fauxhawk turns: an enlightening thread from my facebook
Posted on February 19th, 2010 by admin. Filed under Haiti, romance.
Michelle May a nurse is trying to set me up with a doc- he has a fauxhawk & wears cowboy boots- do i do it?
Laticia Erving likes this.
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- My new weekly travel series on Frontline’s Tehran Bureau…
- Update!
- A moment not to be forgotten
- images of our camp
- My favorite baby, round 3